Library
Ages 9–11
Updated 25 Oct 2026
How your child is growing
- Friendships grow stronger and more complex. Having close friends becomes emotionally important.
- Peer pressure becomes stronger. Children who feel good about themselves are better able to resist negative pressure.
- Your child sees other people’s point of view more clearly and can concentrate for longer.
- Schoolwork becomes more demanding, and your child grows more independent from the family.
- The physical changes of puberty may be showing by now, especially in girls. Your child becomes more aware of their body.
- Moving from primary to lower secondary school is a big change that children need to prepare for.
How you can walk alongside
- Spend time with your child. Talk about friends, about what they have achieved and about the challenges ahead.
- Be involved with school: go to events, meet the teachers, talk about homework and encourage reading every day.
- Help your child build their own sense of right and wrong. Talk ahead of time about risky things friends might push them towards, like smoking or dangerous dares.
- Involve your child in cooking and cleaning, and talk about saving and spending money wisely.
- Make clear rules, keep to them and give your reasons. Say what you expect when no adult is around.
- When you praise, help your child notice their own achievement. “You must be proud of yourself” encourages good choices even when nobody is there to praise.
- Talk about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty, so your child knows what is happening and what to expect.
Changes and things to keep in mind
- As puberty approaches, your child may think more about how they look. Worries about body image and eating sometimes start around this age.
- Family meals with plenty of vegetables and fruit, and fewer foods high in sugar, salt and fat. The National Institute of Nutrition advises limiting sweetened and fizzy drinks.
- Encourage daily physical activity that is varied and enjoyable, such as running, climbing and skipping.
- Keep the TV out of your child’s bedroom, and agree limits together for television, computers and video games.
- With more independence comes less adult supervision. Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is there, and agree when they will call and be home. Have clear rules for time at home alone.
- Your child wears a helmet on a bike, on a motorbike and in contact sports, and a seat belt in the car.
- Talk regularly about life at school and online. Explain that the online world and the offline world are connected.
When to ask a doctor
- Your child loses appetite, sleep or weight, or is very preoccupied with weight and body shape.
- Your child is sad or withdrawn for a long time, has sudden changes of mood, or does not want to go to school.
- Your child has unexplained injuries or damaged belongings, or is upset after being online. UNICEF lists these among the signs that a child may be being bullied; listen, reassure them it is not their fault, and contact the school.
- You notice unusual signs in your child’s mood or behaviour. Vinmec advises recognising these early and seeking specialist advice.
Sources
- UNICEF Uzbekistan – Mental health conversation starters: 6–10 years (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
- UNICEF Parenting – Bullying: What is it and how to stop it (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
- Vinmec – Tâm lý trẻ dậy thì rất phức tạp, cha mẹ cần kiên nhẫn (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
- CDC – Positive Parenting Tips for Healthy Child Development: Middle Childhood (9–11 years of age) (CDC Stacks, PDF) (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
- Vinmec – Tháp dinh dưỡng cho trẻ từ 6-11 tuổi (theo Viện Dinh dưỡng Quốc gia) (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
- WHO – Mental health of adolescents (fact sheet) (accessed 4 Oct 2026)
This article helps you understand and prepare. It does not replace a check-up. For an answer about your own situation, please ask the doctor who is caring for you.